Sometimes it happens. The romance and magic of a relationship suddenly fades away.
Your girlfriend is still smoking hot, but there’s no spark anymore. It doesn’t matter what either of you look like. It doesn’t matter how irresistible you used to find each other.
The girl you couldn’t keep your hands off not too long ago may as well be just another piece of furniture in your apartment, with the lack of sexual attraction you now feel towards her.
You may be wondering what happened, and you may be asking yourself: “Why am I not attracted to my hot girlfriend anymore?”
Well, first off, know that it’s normal to go through both peaks and valleys in the course of a relationship. There’s nothing wrong with you, necessarily, nor is there anything in particular wrong with her or your relationship. Sometimes we all experience lulls in our attraction towards another person.
A lack of attraction may indicate a problem between two people that needs to be dealt with before sexual intimacy can resume in earnest, but not always. So let’s very briefly discuss a few reasons to explain your sudden lack of desire.
1. Psychological Issues
No, you’re not crazy. But sometimes doubts or nagging questions about the nature or future of a relationship can legitimately interfere with your ability to feel sexually attracted to your partner. These include questions regarding fidelity and questions about whether or not you want the same things out of life.
Sometimes over the course of a relationship, personalities change dramatically, particularly if you’re both young or at a major transitional point in your lives. The person you were at the beginning of a relationship does not necessarily remain constant throughout, and you both may find that your paths are diverging.
Despite your desire to stay together, life itself may be working to gradually separate you. This is an unpleasant reality, to be sure, and one that’s difficult to face. Stress and/or a lack of an emotional connection can be detrimental to the attraction (or lack thereof) you feel for your hot girlfriend.
The best thing to do in a situation like this is to have a frank and honest discussion in which you express your feelings and get a read on her emotions, as well. Obviously, if your lack of attraction is caused by suspicions of infidelity or general untrustworthiness, this may be a situation which necessitates some professional assistance (therapy). But the first step is to be open with your partner and see what she’s feeling, as well.
2. Physical Issues
Physical issues are not only limited to impotence or questions regarding the nature of your own sexuality.
A recent study found that more and more men of a relatively young age are finding it difficult to become aroused by an honest-to-goodness human being due to the amount of pornography they watch on a daily or weekly basis. Basically, they’re under-stimulated by their partner because they’re being over-stimulated elsewhere.
One of the best things you can do to maintain a healthy relationship and an attraction between you and your woman is to decrease your visual consumption of porn and other overtly sexual stimuli. If you’re getting aroused and turned on by porn or something else, then having a hot girlfriend may not stimulate you the way it used to. This, in turn, causes you to feel like you aren’t attracted to her anymore.
Attraction has both a physical and emotional component. Avoid sexual stimulation that doesn’t involve your girlfriend and see if that changes how you feel about her. Try to fix any problems that might be causing you to pull away emotionally. These small changes could be a very simple answer to why you are no longer attracted to your hot girlfriend.